Failure sucks. Over a week ago, I wrote a little post about how I was going to quit drinking soda cold turkey. I failed big time. I also said I was going to post every day about my "progress"....again FAIL. I have failed at a lot of things in my life. I failed two classes last semester. I failed at life for a while. This is different, this is a lack of willpower. People tell me that I don't really want these things, that if I wanted them they would happen.
That is very true. I love soda, but it's terrible for me. I love to eat my weight worth of food, but it will kill me someday. I love to sleep instead of going to class, but I will fail said classes. I realize these things but I can't make the pros of quitting these things outweigh the cons.
I'm gonna take a turn here, because I just realized I am blogging about my love of being a glutton. I love to do these things but I sacrifice a lot for them. Self-esteem and confidence. Self-loathings is an art that I am very skilled in. I literally hate the way I look, and I know I am not helpless to change it. I just don't have the willpower and drive to make better choices in my live. I can't even complete an easy task list that I wrote months ago.
It sucks when you look at your life and can only see negative. I have done some positive things, but I think I can only attribute those successes to other people in my life. People who pushed me when I had all but given up. People who forced me to be successful. I always say I need motivation, and that has never rang more true. I just hope I can find it, before it's too late.
Awww Brandon :( You can do it! I believe in you! You are the most beautiful person I know. You can make anyone laugh! If you need some motivation, I'm here as well as a ton of others!
ReplyDeleteYou've inspired me to start blogging again too :)
Thanks Janelle, that really means a lot to me. You have no idea. It's cool that you are going to start blogging again, I'll have to check it out.
DeleteThis makes me so sad Brandon. I often feel the same way and know how it feels to not like the way you are, if you read through some of my blogs from last year I said almost the same thing as "I literally hate the way I look". Because I go through the same thing, I know that there's nothing really I can say to truly help those feelings go away. You have to realize that you are an awesome person just the way you are. You are inspiring, funny, one of the nicest people I have ever met, and an overall great friend. You have inspired me so much, you probably didn't even know that, but you do. We are so alike and you have accomplished so much and it has motivated me to try harder so that one day maybe I could do something. I hope this helps you see some positives, because honestly you are a great person and I'm so glad we became friends! If you ever need anything, whether it's to talk or someone to tell you to go to class...actually we could both use that haha, but just let me know, I'm always around!
ReplyDelete~Caitlin :)
Thanks Caitlin, I appreciate you saying those things. It really helps me feel better. It's hard to see the positive things in life, because we are stuck viewing them from the inside. Inside things are more focused and intense, I hate that you feel the same way I do. I wouldn't wish these feelings on my worst enemy let alone one of my friends. Just know that you are a very positive influence in my life as well. You make me see that through all of the adversity there are still genuine people who still push on. I wish I had the will that you do to try and become something. It's strange to think that I actually motivate people, when that's something I severely lack. I'm very glad we became friends too, and that is a two-way street. If you ever need anything I am here for you.
DeleteBrandon, Brandon, Brandon...It's kinda like MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA...ya know from the Brady Bunch. Anyways, where do I begin? How about at the beginning? First of all, I've been calling myself a failure lately. My failures are different than yours, but that's not the point. There are some things that you just can't fix because it's too late. But, you can always try harder next time. I've come to realize there is never really an end to anything, even life. You say you "failed" at doing posts. You didn't fail. You just didn't succeed. So ya know what? TRY AGAIN! Trying is what gets us through life. We have to try things in order to succeed. I'm not a life coach, but I will do what I can to help you succeed.
ReplyDeleteYou are my best friend. BFFFLs right? Well parts of being BFFFLs is being there for one another. You have been there for me for so much. You've yelled at me, I've yelled at you, but we always end up hugging it out-because we're cool like that-but whenever you need help with anything I am here for you! Heck I've been in Muncie all summer waiting on you! :) You want to lose weight...we'll work out. You want to cut down on soda, come visit me more often-no soda here!! We could always work on motivational stuff too. Whatever you need, I'm just a text away...or a phone call...or a facebook message...or a blog comment. It doesn't matter.
PS: I never realized how many pictures of us there were together/that I took until I really looked at the background of your blog. I miss us...and everyone...
Yeah, I tried to pick pictures that were important to me...so it's no surprise you are in most of them lol. You are right, we are always there for each other when it counts. We should definitely hang out soon and shoot the breeze or whatever the saying is.
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