I am at a point in my life where I am scared. If you are wondering why I am scared, you should just hold your freakin' horses because I am getting ready to tell you. I am content where I am right now.
You may be wondering why my contentedness (which is a word I looked it up) would be scary. The reason it is scary, my curious friend, is because this isn't where I thought I would be right now.
The reason I went to college was so that I wouldn't have to work in a factory for the rest of my life. I wish someone would have told me that factories pay so well. I wish they would have told me that in two years, I would be making more than enough to support myself. All without $50,000 worth of student debt. Those things would have been cool to know.
It's all right. College was amazing. I got some awesome things from my school. I got friends that I will probably always have. I grew as a person and discovered a lot about myself in that five years.
College was amazing. That's what I keep telling myself.
College gave me opportunity.
College gave me skills.
College gave me friends.
College gave me my first bout with depression.
College gave me an anxiety disorder.
College gave me an overwhelming sense of failure.
College gave me jealousy.
College gave me a personality.
College gave me individuality.
College gave me sixty pounds.
College gave me disappointment.
College gave me hope.
College taught me a lot. Not what it takes to get a job in my desired field, with decent pay, but it taught me some things. College taught me that dreams don't come true.
I watch movies or t.v. shows and the person says "I'm going to go to college and get out of this dead end town." I know that that "dead end" town will take you back. It won't deny you the life that you deserve because your gpa was too low. It doesn't care that you didn't try hard enough.
I am not better or bigger than this town. I am not better or bigger than this job. I'm content. That scares me, but that's okay.
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