It has been a really weird semester so far. I am actually enjoying all of my classes which is really different for me. I've been thinking a lot about my future and what that entails for me. It is really hard to look into the future when you really have no sense of vision. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life and now I've come to the end...of my college career. Not my life...I'm still kick'n.
When you are a (double) senior in college everyone expects you to have it figured out. They think you should know exactly what you are going to do because you have been learning how to do it. Does that sentence make any sense? Whatevs. The point is that you are supposed to know your shit. I don't know my shit. My shit is very unknown to me. That's scary.
I mean I have some backup plans but that will just be delaying the inevitable. I am stuck in the same rut that I have been stuck in for four years. The only problem is that my time here is up and I have to make a decision. I can't even make my meal plan last for the entire week. How am I supposed to plan out the rest of my life? I guess that's the point right? At some point you just have to move on and jump in. You have got to do what scares you. I've gotta be honest here people I'm terrified. It feels like I'm about to dive into the ocean and I don't even know how to swim.
I used to have a plan. I used to know exactly what I wanted...and now look at me...I'm not anywhere near where I planned to be. Instead, I've started down a different path. I don't think the goal should be to know what you're going to do with the rest of your life because hell, it just doesn't work out that way. Instead you should just be focusing on something you're good at. Maybe a job will come out of it, maybe not..maybe you'll be like me and end up going to back to school to further your education in a similar yet different area all together. Just focus on what you've got going, focus on what you're good at, and focus on finishing strong. I know that's a lot to focus on, but I know you can do it. Best of luck, and remember...planning out your life isn't all that it's cracked up to be...you get broken down and hurt...and no one wants that.
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