Hey Guys,
It's been awhile and I just wanted to blog a little bit about my life. I want to start with Thursday because that's when things hit overdrive, and I never really took the time to process what happened. I kind of wish I could forget some of it.
Thursday September 27, 2012
Thursday was a pretty good day for a while, I don't really remember too much about it. I was really busy preparing for the conference and didn't really have time for much. Then I got a message that read:
Hey, so uhh haven't heard from you in a while, and well we're supposed to be trying to be friends, we're supposed to be best friends...I don't think that's true anymore...I think it's worse this year than it was last year.
I want to start by saying that I personally value every friendship I have. I try my hardest to keep them around, people grow apart...it sucks. This friend is an exception. I made a promise that I wouldn't let us grow apart. I told them that I was tired of people walking out of my life and that I wasn't going to let that happen. That conversation happened a very long time ago and I still remember it vividly. I could throw around blame and say it's a two way street, but this friend has been generally making an effort to hang out with me and I failed them big time.
It's hard to realize that you are the one making the mistakes in a friendship. I am no stranger to breaking promises, but this one is different. I try very hard to be a loyal and caring friend and I let this one get away from me. I have let a lot of friendships slip away, but I made a promise. I'm not there for a friend that I generally think needs me. I'm going to try very hard to make things right, but I think it might be too late.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Friday was the day before the conference and I was a complete mess. I usually don't stress about things but I was stressing on Friday. I honestly don't know what was wrong because I had most of my stuff done. I even won a nook at some point, it should have been a great day. Sometimes the weight of the world falls on your shoulders. Every unhappy moment from this semester was on my mind that day. All the arguments,the guilt, the sadness. It was all there. It was like last semester all over again. I just wanted to crawl into my bed and stay there forever. I had friends that were going through a tough time as well. I had one friend that was looking out for me though, she made me feel better and helped me finish what I needed to do. Thanks to Ashley Biedakiewicz for helping me out, I really needed it (and sorry I almost broke down in your car).
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Saturday was the conference day and it went really well. I was really happy and energized. It was so weird because normally I'm terrified but everything went great. It's good to know that I can accomplish things on my own and if I do fail, I have amazing friends that are there to pick up the slack. I have an amazing exec. board and some pretty great friends. It would have been hard to experience something that we couldn't handle.
We went to Fairmount that night for their Dean Days Festival. I was exhausted and so were the people I went with. We had all had a very busy day at the conference and just wanted to have some good small town fun. I discovered that Fairmount is kind of creepy, in a good way. It had the small town feel that I am used to and weirdly felt like home. We didn't get to the funnel cake place in time (sad day), but my friend Kim and I split an elephant ear. I generally don't like them but it was delicious! We saw some old cars and got a tour of the town. There was a sketchy atm and really aggressive carnies. It was a good time.
The interesting part was when we got locked out of Brittany's car. We eventually got in but it was adventure getting to that point. There were police involved, it was intense (it wasn't really intense, i'm just dramatic). Then we had to tie a door closed because there was a problem with the door. We had a good time and made memories that I don't think any of us will forget.
Sunday September 30, 2012
Not much happened Sunday. Brittany's mom made us this really huge breakfast. You don't know how much you miss home cooked meals until you haven't had it in a while. There was also an adorable dog and an adorable toddler. It was a very fun morning and then we drove home. I think we round tabled that night and had a good time.
It was an interesting end of the week that's for sure. The rest of the week has literally just gone downhill. Maybe I'll talk about that in my next post. I'm having a really hard time keeping the people in my life happy. Somewhere along the lines I stopped caring if people were mad at me. I went from trying my hardest to keep people happy to pissing someone off on a daily basis. I'm glad I have somewhere to share my thoughts and feelings because sometimes I just want to write them down. Sometimes I just need to feel like someone's listening.
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